My car was here at 7:15, my brain should be here shortly.

This year I made tons of New Years resolutions, and one of them was to be more punctual. I am a lot of things: good with words, fashion savvy, creative, sometimes funny, but being on time is not one of my stand out qualities. So, my new vow was to get to work on time every day this year. Well kids, here it is, mark it down, the 25th day of January, and I was late to work. Resolution Fail. Now, normally I try not to post things that I wouldn't want an employer to read about me on the internet, but I'm fairly sure that this is something that has happened to everyone at some point, so you know, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones (or something).

So here's my latest list:


You Might Be Late For Work If...

1. You woke up and had to make the following decision: Shower, Hair, Make-up. Pick two. 

2. You convinced yourself that your alarm must be broken, because there's no possible way it's morning yet.

3. You put on the exact same pants you wore yesterday because they were the closest to your bed, but you rationalize that no one will notice as long as you wear a highly distracting animal print sweater and different heels with said pants.

4. You scrambled to pack a lunch, and then forgot a fork.

5. You made coffee, and then realized that all of your mugs and tumblers were dirty, so you drank it out of this: 

It really is going to be a great day. Thank God for Mother's Day mugs from someone else's third grader. Happy Tuesday.

Family Secrets

 

You wouldn't know it from these pictures, but my family is wild. And we have secrets. 

Don't let the tame poses and polite smiles fool you.  

 

We are tricksters and troublemakers. 

We dance like crazy, eat seven meals a day, and have ridiculous nicknames (Chocobear, Muffinhead, Bookends, Friendlies, Gangsta J, which is not me, by the way, just to name a few). We're ruthless at board games, and we love desserts waaay too much.

She used to draw on the walls and try to kiss strangers. I used to kidnap her toys and demand ransom. 

When these two met, she was 16, and he crashed her birthday party. Rascals.

 

When I was little, I thought my mom was the prettiest lady in the world. I still hope I look as good as her when I grow up. 

Yep, you wouldn't know by looking at us, but we're crazy. I know you can't pick your family, but if you could, I'd still want to wind up with these people. 

Creepers and all. 

*Big thanks to Curtis Simpson Photography for making us all look so darn attractive. You can check him out here: http://curtissimpsonphotography.com/