If you read my last post, you might have seen that I have vowed never to blog about my love/dating life.
Well, guess what? Today I am, because I make the rules and I can change them if I want to. Why, you may ask? Uh, because I went speed dating this week, and chances are, you're probably curious about what that is/whether it was fun and if you should try it, and I've got your back. You're welcome. I did it for you. Also, this story involves complete strangers, and therefore, is unlikely to come back to haunt me. (Note: I've taken measures to protect the some of the innocent, stupid, and/or ridiculous people I met last night. As in, I conveniently forgot their names.)
Rewind two weeks: I'm hanging out with some girlfriends and one of them mentions how she saw a groupon-like deal for speed dating. In my head, I said, "What an utterly ridiculous idea, I should blog about that!". Aloud I said, "Wouldn't it be fun if we all did that?" Obviously, everyone agreed because we all bought them the very next day. I vowed to go in with an open mind, and if I didn't come out of it with a date, I'd at least have a good story.
Fast Forward to last night: My girlfriends and I show up to Xino in Santa Monica, dressed up, and ready to make snap judgments about the eligibility of strange men. We were each assigned a number and given a card with three columns printed on it. In column 1, you wrote the number of the guy you're dating, in column 2 his name, and in column 3, what you ranked him on scale from "Maybe, let's have one more drink" to "Never in a million years" (no joke, it said that on the scale).
After mingling at the bar for a bit, we all sat down at a long table, where there was an empty chair next to each woman. The men sat down next to us and we'd chat for four minutes each, and then the guys would get up and move one seat down. Bear in mind, if you have any people skills whatsoever, four minutes goes by really fast, so theoretically, there's not enough time for it to get awkward if you don't hit it off. There were 15 men there, and the next hour of my life went something like this.:
#1 - Guy in a hoodie and jeans sits down next to me. We chat amiably, and I think, "Wow, he's really nice and normal. This is off to a good start." He then explains that he just happened to be having dinner in the bar and the bartender told him that the speed dating event was short on men, and that he should go sign up hastily. Awesome. This explained the hoodie and why he was so normal.
#6 - I got no words in edgewise because this dude was engaging in his own stand-up comedy routine, and was busy telling me about how he thought my name was perfect for a gang banger. I laughed at appropriate intervals, and pondered when a good time would be to get an appetizer and another drink.
#3, 5, 8, 11 - A blur of men a few years older than me who were ALL in finance jobs, living in Marina Del Rey, and moved to California for work. They like the beach and hate the traffic. It's sad because they were all very nice, but I totally couldn't tell them apart after an hour. Apparently speed-dating has a type. This wasn't their fault, but you can't really dig very deep in 4 minutes.
#7 - Within 30 seconds of talking to this guy, I discovered he's a mutual friend of my best friend. Super small world. I spent the next 3 minutes talking about her. Whoops. Probably not productive, but she's awesome. He agreed.
#9 - Guy who asked me what my type was, and when I describe how I am open minded and don't have one specific type, he then informed me that my type is probably muscular, wealthy, and white because I went to Pepperdine. Hm. Okay. Thanks for asking me. I spent the rest of the four minutes thinking about spilling my drink on him.
#10 - Guy who commented on my outfit in a way that I couldn't decide if it was insulting or not. He then spent the rest of the 4 minutes asking me about the process I use in getting dressed in the morning. "Did you pick it because of the color? What color is that? Are you matching on purpose? (yes, fool.) Are all of your clothes expensive?" I half expected him to want to look at the tags.
#12 - Foreign man who made zero eye contact with me the whole time. It was awkward. Like talking to a cardboard cut-out. Or a pigeon.
I'm not sure I would do this again, and obviously, I didn't describe all of the men, but some other highlights of the evening included:
- A random drunk who ran through the bar and yelled at all of us.
- Meeting two girls from Wisconsin, who I want to hang out with stat, because they were so funny and cool (I think I'm better at meeting girls than guys. Problematic? Oh well!).
- People spilling drinks.
- People falling down.
So, to be perfectly honest, I don't think I met my soul mate at speed-dating (I can feel the disappointment in all of your eyes), but I did come out of it with new friends and a renewed appreciation for people with superb conversational skills. Count your blessings, people.
That said, it was a really classy, well run event. It was fun, there were appetizers, and the hostesses were lovely (and all foreign model/actress types). In case you are interested in trying out this lark, here's the link: http://speedladating.com/
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